Firefly
by Ice Teal
Summary: The tension breaks the night Rin leaves for australia again, and everything is on fire. Rin is fire.


**A songfic written around Firefly by Ed Sheeran, requested by with-atl-in-neverland for the Sourin Xmas Xchange on Tumblr.**  
 **Give it a listen while you read for best experience c:**

 **Come find me as ice-teal on Tumblr!**

* * *

When Sousuke thinks of heat, of fire, he thinks of Rin. Rin exists in the realm of pure energy, the sole destroyer of Sousuke's cold, solid demeanour. Rin's return was akin to stumbling out of a dark tunnel, having forgotten the existence of the sun, and suddenly feeling it searing into his eyes, prickling on his skin, and lighting his hair aflame. It was like suddenly stumbling onto a forest fire, vast and untamed and terrifyingly beautiful, and Sousuke had forgotten such fierceness could be contained in this world. How fitting now, that the Australian land of heat would steal it all back from Sousuke. No, it was never Sousuke's to keep; Rin was being retrieved. He was naive to think for a minute that he would be allowed to keep something so alive to himself. He was selfish.

It's Rin's last night in Japan, and Sousuke ends up on the stoop of the Matsuokas' door, made dizzy by the familiarity, hit in the gut with all the memories of standing in this exact spot. Nothing has really changed for Sousuke; he can still see in the back of his eyes the younger Rin's sharp grin as he opens the door for Sousuke time after time, remembers being scared out of his mind with how much he needed, needs, to feel Rin's presence.

Rin opens the door, eyes wide. "Sousuke?"

"I'm glad you came by." Rin says, looking up at the ceiling as he lays on his bed with his head on his hands, "I didn't want to leave without…"

He doesn't finish the sentence, but he doesn't need to. Sousuke plods over from where he was examining the wall with delicate brushes of fingertips, where he and Rin had carved meaningless shapes with a pocket knife when they were young. Rin's mother hadn't been impressed. He settles down next to Rin, and Rin scoots over, first his legs, then his body. They're too big to fit like they used to, but Sousuke immediately sinks into it like into warm water, cushioned and embraced by the familiarity.

Sousuke turns to look at Rin. "I couldn't let you leave without…"

And it's Sousuke's turn to flounder, and he wonders if Rin could tell what he wanted to say, too. It feels out of place, to drop a proclamation of feelings in this time capsule he's stumbled into. What was familiar, was staring at the swoop of Rin's lashes and the delicate cut of his brows and burying those wants and wishes in a swallow. It's the same game of trying to get closer to the fire without getting burnt and Sousuke has been set up to fail like a moth to a flame since the very first time he ever stepped foot into this room.

"I know swimming internationally is your dream," Sousuke cuts across his previous train of thought, "But for me, it-"

"Let's not-" Rin interrupts abruptly, the burst of his voice quieting down as he turns towards Sousuke then, "Let's not talk about that now."

They share a few breaths, then Sousuke nods once. "Ok."

"Last night, huh." Sousuke's voice cracks softly; he's whispering as if letting out a secret.

Rin shuffles to turn his body towards Sousuke, and curls his hand softly around Sousuke's bicep. Even through the jacket, his hand is warm; Sousuke feels it prickling and tingling his skin like it's going to brand him.

There's something unreadable in Rin's eyes when Sousuke looks back, but it's sparking, and threatening to set Sousuke afire. The hand around his arm tightens almost imperceptibly and the wine red eyes are wide, looking up through strands of hair at Sousuke. His hand surges up without his prompting and sweeps the hair behind Rin's ear. Rin lets him, and Sousuke panics, because he wants to push, but he doesn't want to test the limits. He's playing with fire, but never has it felt more volatile. The way Rin is so subdued and intent tonight, the last night, is offering a spark to wake all the tinder Sousuke's collected and buried in his chest.

Still, he resists.

Rin closes his eyes and Sousuke is transfixed by the slow sweeping of his pretty lashes. His brows twitch in and out of a frown, and his bottom lip gets tucked tightly into his mouth.

"Sousuke." He whispers.

And Sousuke thinks Rin is going to cry, but he only utters Sousuke's name again, louder and throatier.

Sousuke exhales shakily, and turns to scoop an arm over Rin, encompassing and pulling him closer. His pretty eyes are still closed. Sousuke hears the sharp inhale, almost a gasp, and feels the warm breath spill over his neck. His hand slides up and presses softly but urgently between Rin's shoulder blades.

Rin finally lets go of his grip on Sousuke's arm to wind it around his torso instead.

"I liked it, being here. With you." He mumbles into the crook of Sousuke's neck.

The past tense of the words lays a heavy grip over Sousuke and he clutches at the back of Rin's sweater like a drowning man. Rin squeezes him tighter, so tight.

Rin must sense his urgency because he grips Sousuke's sides, leans back to look him in the eyes again and whispers, "It's going to be ok."

Sousuke feels like nothing is going to be ok, but he nods anyways, more and more rapidly, saying "Yeah. Yes." Under his breath and he doesn't even know what he's nodding about. He's shaking a little.

"Are you cold?" Rin frowns, Sousuke keeps nodding, because he is. It's small and cramped and cold in this town, and Rin is heading out to bigger, burning cities. He's so lost in the flickering irises, and doesn't notice his fingers inching up into Rin hair and pushing against his scalp.

Rin remains tethered through their connected gaze and gives in easily to the push, and the burning-coal eyes get nearer and nearer until Sousuke can feel the heat blooming across his lips.

He'd been too scared to imagine what kissing Rin might feel like, but the real thing was far beyond anything he could have imagined. An embarrassing whimper escapes through his nose. Long, tense fingers curl in the strands of burgundy.

Rin remains where he is, their lips pressed together, unmoving, just locked in place slotted into each other. Warm fingers run across Sousuke's jaws, his neck, scritching at the base of his head through his hair. Sousuke can feel the goosebumps trailing behind those smooth touches like a ripple over his skin.

Sousuke is falling apart, he's slowly dissolving, turning into putty under Rin's hands, like candle wax melting beneath the flame. Like the flame, Rin is fuelled by the submission, and those dangerous lips begin coaxing Sousuke's apart as he pushes himself up by his elbows and over the larger teen until he's hovering above. Devilish fingers slip over the zipper of Sousuke's jacket.

"Still cold?" Rin asks right into Sousuke's awaiting mouth.

Sousuke shakes his head, and the zipper descends down his torso.

Sousuke remembers feeling euphoric as he holds Rin in his arms that night, so close that his entire field of vision is the elegant sweep of Rin's brow and the curve of a closed eye in front of the bow of his nose. Like he's tamed live fire. His own eyes close against the dark silhouette and he falls asleep breathing across Rin's face, lips seeking out the warmth of his cheek.

* * *

Morning is a different story. When he wakes, Rin is packing up his bathroom and he smiles wanly at Sousuke when he pads in and stops in the doorway. Sousuke stiffens, because Rin is leaving regardless of how invincible Sousuke felt hours ago. Absolutely nothing has changed, even though to Sousuke, it feels like his world had flipped upside down in one night.

Maybe it has. Maybe that was Rin's way of ending the friendship with a controlled burn, tying it up with a bow and closing the book. Sousuke wants to kiss him again and spends the entire morning trying not to.

* * *

"Goodbye, Rin." He says, voice low and scratchy as they stand on the grey floors of the airport.

Rin looks at him with a wondering gaze, as if he doesn't know why Sousuke's face is all rigid and wrong, and wraps his arms around Sousuke's chest in a painfully familiar gesture, and Sousuke loses the ability to breathe. The parts of his body touching Rin are the only parts he can feel.

"You'll come visit me, right?" Rin mutters into his shoulder.

He wants to taste those lips again just once more. He wants to touch him and hold him and tell him his secrets. He wants it so bad his head is spinning, but he doesn't make a move. The temptation is like a firefly dancing out of his reach and Sousuke is terrified that it'll set everything alight and burn it down to the ground. He knows that Rin is not his to keep and that he can never be good enough, not anymore.

"Yeah." He lies into Rin's hair. He leans back and stares at his own reflection, glassy and shining on the wetness in those molten eyes. He lies to keep those tears happy. "I will."

Rin grins with the brightness of a million suns and leans in.

* * *

 _I fell in love next to you_  
 _Burning fires in this room_  
 _It just fits light and smooth_  
 _Like my feet in my shoes_

 _Little one, lie with me_  
 _Sew your heart to my sleeve_  
 _We'll stay quiet underneath_  
 _Shooting stars if it helps you sleep_

 _And hold me tight don't let me breathe_  
 _Feeling like you won't believe_

 _[2x]_

 _There's a firefly loose tonight_  
 _Better catch it 'fore it burns this place down_  
 _And I lie if I don't feel so right_  
 _But the world looks better through your eyes_

 _Teach my skin those new tricks_  
 _Warm me up with your lips_  
 _Heart to heart melt me down_  
 _It's too cold in this town_

 _Close your eyes, lean on me_  
 _Face to mouth, lips to cheek_  
 _Feeling numb in my feet_  
 _You're the one to help me get to sleep_

 _And hold me tight don't let me breathe_  
 _Feeling like you won't believe_

 _[2x]_

 _There's a firefly loose tonight_  
 _Better catch it 'fore it burns this place down_  
 _And I lie if I don't feel so right_  
 _But the world looks better through your eyes_

 _It's only been one night of love_  
 _And maybe that is not enough_  
 _And hold me tight don't let me breathe_  
 _Feeling like you won't believe_

 _It's only been one night of love_  
 _And maybe that is not enough_  
 _And hold me tight don't let me breathe_  
 _Feeling like you won't believe_

 _[2x]_

 _There's a firefly loose tonight_  
 _Better catch it 'fore it burns this place down_  
 _And I lie if I don't feel so right_  
 _But the world looks better through your eyes_


End file.
